Maya and Hope

I have not blogged for a long time. There are multiple reasons for this as the last many months have been full of events, full of life, and low on extra time. I hope that anyone who ever looked here took the time to visit www.mayawinnifred.com to keep up with my wonderful niece.

I still miss her.

It's been a couple months since she passed, and I still catch myself wondering when I will be able to go over to my brother's and hold her again. Instead, I'm left to wait for a time when I will meet the speaking, walking, creating, perfect Maya at the end of my life. That will be a good day.

Maya to me represents hope. One may wonder how a baby dependent on extra oxygen and a feeding tube, struggling to develop, represents hope. If you met her you would understand. Those of you who know me, know that the Bible is where I turn to better understand this crazy world. I read this the other day ...

"And we boast in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame"

Maya and her parents had suffering, they persevered, they built character, and it resulted in enormous hope. They were not ashamed. They loved. And they taught me more about hope than almost anything I have ever experienced. They took a situation that could be accurately described as hellish and turned it into a little bit of heaven on earth. Turning hell into heaven is the hope of the glory of God - and they gave us all a peek.

Thank you Maya. Thank you JJ and Erin. These words are inadequate - I know. Love you guys.

Maya update - 12/16/10

Here is a quick update from Michelle -

After several scary incidents Tuesday night, Maya is still with us. The hospice nurse feels that it may be too strenuous for her to suck so she replaced Maya’s feeding tube. The nurses told J.J. and Erin that it could be a week to a month that she will still be with us. The really scary part is that she will continue to have episodes where she stops breathing but then starts again. They even said this could happen for as much as 15 minutes. I haven’t seen this myself yet, but I can imagine how completely awful it would be to see your baby stop breathing and turn blue. I know that everyone’s emotions are completely spent. We all said our goodbyes yesterday, and are happy she is still here, but scared about how to function knowing that one of the times she won’t come back. Please continue to pray that God would give J.J. and Erin the strength and comfort they need to care for Maya and also that they would know how to care for themselves. Pray that they would be able to rely on God and each other. I can’t imagine anything more emotionally and physically straining than what they are experiencing right now.

Thank you,
Michelle

Maya is home

(An update from Michelle)

Hello friends,

I'm sorry to keep you out of the loop for so long. The last few days have been such a whirlwind I haven't had time to think enough to be able to relay what is going on. Yesterday evening J.J. and Erin took Maya home. It was a very scary time for them and we are praying that God would give them peace and a feeling of knowing exactly how to care for Maya. The doctors really have no idea how long Maya's fragile heart will be able to keep her alive. All babies have a valve that remains open on their heart until about a week after they are born. When that valve closes Maya's heart will have to work much harder, and we do not know if it is going to be strong enough to sustain her. She is eating well and able to keep her temperature up, and K.C. and I have been able to hold her. Our kids haven't had that chance yet so we are taking them over to her house today in hopes that they can hold her and love on her. They have been pretty afraid of touching her because she is so small and fragile.

It is extremely difficult for all of us to understand how it is possible that such a beautiful and perfect little baby has absolutely no ability to survive. We are still trying to grasp the exact nature of her condition. We found out yesterday that additional genetic tests revealed that she has full (not partial) Trisomy 18. It is a miracle that she made it full term and is doing as well as she is given that fact. It is very, very rare for a full Trisomy 18 baby to survive to term.

Please continue to lift up J.J. and Erin's entire family in your prayers. Everyone is completely exhausted mentally, physically, and emotionally. We will be taking shifts over the next week so that someone will be there with J.J. and Erin at all times. Thankfully we have a very large family with most everyone in town, so it shouldn't be too hard to accomplish that. A hospice nurse will be checking in on them each day.

Pray that Maya's heart will be able to keep her little body alive at least through Christmas. Of course feel free to pray for much more than that. Every moment we have with her is a blessing. Pray that J.J. and Erin would be able to experience the joy of their little girl even through all the sorrow. Please also pray that God would give K.C. and I the strength we need to care for our children and J.J. and Erin even through our own sorrow. It is difficult when we have to be apart so much in order to care for J.J. and Erin.

Please know that you are not bothering us if you call, e-mail or text. Your communication with us has been a huge blessing and will continue to be as we deal with the imminent loss of our niece.

Blessings to you all,

K.C. and Michelle

Maya was born this morning shortly after 7:00am. Mother and baby are doing well. She is requiring oxygen, but is in her mother’s arms to stay warm. We do not have very much information yet. It will be this afternoon or evening before the test results come back. Right now we are all just enjoying taking pictures with her and loving on J.J. and Erin. Please continue to keep everyone in your prayers. There is still a lot of uncertainty.

The good news is that although Maya’s heart does have some problems, the cardiologist said that all but one should heal on its own and that the other one just requires medication. As long as the tests come back negative for Trisomy they will be able to give her the medication.

In a few hours we should know if we can rule out two of the most common types of Trisomy. Unfortunately they do not have test for all types, but anything that comes back showing that she doesn’t have a chromosomal defect is great news. Please pray that the tests come back negative!

Please pray for baby Maya

Dear Friends ,

Our family needs your prayers in a big way for our niece Maya Allen. She will be born by C-Section on Tuesday morning. A few days ago our sister in law Erin went in for a sonogram and the sonogram showed there were some problems in several of the baby’s vital organs. All the problems by themselves were considered treatable, but in combination they indicated a chromosomal defect called Trisomy. In all cases this condition is fatal. There is no way to find out if Maya has this condition until she is born. Please pray that she does not have Trisomy.

Of course you understand how devastated we are. We are trusting God for his miraculous healing for little Maya. Please join us in this prayer. Please lift up J.J. and Erin and our entire family this week. It is a very scary time of waiting until Tuesday to find out exactly what is happening with Maya.

Thank you so much,

K.C. and Michelle

"Make Disciples" --Jesus

Just before heading up to heaven, Jesus gave his followers a clear command. He said "Go and make disciples of all nations ...". In this concluding remark, he tells us clearly what we should be doing.

It seems simple. So why is it consuming my thoughts of late? Here's my problem, honestly, I'm not sure that I know how to do it! In fact, it seems like there are very few people around me who know how to do it. I suspect that if I asked many of my Christian friends, maybe even my pastor friends, how to make disciples, they would struggle with the answer.

I've been involved with the church my entire life. I even lived overseas for two years with the singular purpose of sharing Jesus. How is it that after all this time I'm still struggling with how to make disciples? It's not like my involvement with church has been a waste. I've learned many wonderful things, and in the process fallen in love with a God and Saviour. However, through all of it, I don't think I've learned how to make disciples.

AND THIS IS THE MAIN THING JESUS TELLS ME TO DO!

If you know me, you know I can't let things like this rest. I continue to think, ponder, read, and research until I come up with something that makes sense to me. Well, that's what I've been doing of late. Here's the premise I'm starting with: I don't think Jesus would tell us to do something and not show us how to do it. If that's the case, then instructions on how to make disciples must be in the Bible. More than that, I think it must be in the words and example of Jesus himself. How else could he tell his followers to do it?

In order to find the answer, I've talked to many people (some who I think have it figured out) and I've read several books on the subject, but most of all I've spent much of my time reading the Gospels. I've got to think that the Gospels are where the answer is.

Through all of it, a pattern is starting to form so I thought I'd share it with whoever reads these ramblings of mine and see what you think.

1. Love people. This is attractional. It draws people in. If we are truly loving people, people should be attracted to that, and start to come our way. The Gospels are full of Jesus doing this.

2. Pay attention. Jesus was always looking for the people who were responsive to spiritual things. In the midst of the people attracted by caring, there will be people who are interested in more.

3. Ask. Jesus consistently asked the responsive people a question. He asked them to do something. He challenged them. He asked something that revealed if their interest was serious.

4. Watch. Jesus watched to see how people responded to his questions. He looked for a willingness to obey God.

5. Mentor. Jesus mentored people who obeyed. He did this in the middle of real life. It was a relationship more than a teaching time, meeting, or program. His level of involvement varied depending on the person, but it almost always involved the person being asked to reach out to others.

6. Release. Jesus always released people. He freed them to go. More than that, many times he commanded them to go. They often were told to go back to their village, but sometimes they were told to go into the world.

I'm seeing this pattern everywhere. I see it in scripture, and I see it in the middle of movements toward Jesus happening around the world. I see it in raising my kids. I see it in the historical rise of most major denominations.

This is all intriguing to me, but I can't stop here. My challenge to myself is to begin living my day to day life in a way that loves people, that pays attention, that asks people important questions, that watches people's actions, that mentors people, and that releases people.

Easy, right?

On a side note, it's interesting to me that I don't think much of this can really be done within the weekend church service ...

Women, Ministry, and Pastors

I posted the following quote to Facebook from the book Untamed by Alan and Debra Hirsch.

"in just about every outbreak of a missional church movement in history, women have played a critical and up-front role ... interestingly, God doesn't appear to have the same hang-ups certain sections of the church currently have regarding women's involvement in official church ministry." - UNTAMED

Well, the quote sparked quite the conversation amongst friends. The comment section of Facebook isn't sufficient to explain my thoughts so I thought I'd do it here. Here we go ...

I will start with Ephesians 4:11 which lists the spiritual gifts that are given to believers to build up the church (apostleship, prophecy, evangelism, pastoring, and teaching). I think these gifts are given to all believers including women, and as such all believers (including women) should be using them in some way to build up the church. In my opinion, the current American church culture seems to value these backward. Teaching is most valued, followed by pastoring, followed by evangelism and so on. We in the States have no idea what to do with apostleship and prophecy! My observation is that in large Jesus movements around the world, the opposite is true. Apostleship is valued highest, followed by prophecy, and so on. Pastoring and Teaching are intended as church 'maintenance mode' gifts so when they are emphasized disproportionately, you get what the American church has largely become - a non kingdom expanding institution. Churches like Willow Creek and Saddleback started to emphasize evangelism over the last 20 years and structure their gatherings around it. This led to church growth. However, I think that in order to get true multiplication, and a true kingdom expansion movement, we will need to figure out how to emphasize apostleship and prophecy in the American church.

But I digress ...

So I believe women have these gifts and should use them. I agree with the quote above that the church is operating at a severe disadvantage and will never be what God intended as long as women are not allowed to use their gifts. I think that is why we see women deeply involved in most of the major Jesus movements around the world - because that is the way God intended it. However, this will call into question by some people (like some of my friends) passages like 1 Timothy 2 and 3. Here is how I reconcile all of that.

In all of the 'letter' books of the Bible, we must take into account the situation the book is being written to. Paul expresses core principles, but he also expresses specific practices. I think it is important that we not confuse the two. We should not make the specific practices a new sort of law. I think those practices were written to apply to that situation and we should read them as such. The principles, however, are universal.

For example, in 1 Timothy 2 and 3 we see several specific practices that should be applied in a situation like what Timothy was facing at the time (a growing church experiencing false teaching and disorder). I don't believe that for a church to be a church it has to have formal Overseers and Deacons as described in 1 Timothy 3. However, for churches who grow to a certain size and begin to experience disorder, this would be a really good idea - and we see most churches follow that model today. Paul is not defining church here. He is instructing Timothy on how to manage a specific church body and bring order to that church. We can learn a lot from it, but it is a specific practice, not a universal principle.

We would be good to take the specific instructions given here and use them when we appoint Overseers and Deacons. However, I believe these roles (Overseers and Deacons) are ones of accountability and service - not specific giftings. These 'offices' of accountability and service are intended to bring order and structure to the church. When we use these offices, we should follow the Biblical instruction and appoint men to these positions. However, I think verse 3:11 strong hints (particularly when translated deaconesses) at the fact that it should be a partnership with spouses being included in the role as well. After all, a married couple has become one. I don't see how these specific offices of Overseer and Deacon in any way would inhibit a woman from using her gifts like the gifts described in Ephesians 4:11. I also don't believe that Overseers and Deacons are required for every church - particularly one like a small house church.

So Overseers and Deacons are offices, not gifts, that a church can implement to bring order. When implemented, the Bible seems clear that they should be men (or couples).

Now - what about verses like 1 Timothy 2:11-12? Surely they limit a woman's gifts, right? I don't think so. I think we need to carefully separate the universal principle from the specific practice. Verse 11 contains the principle: women should practice an attitude of quietness and submission. This is consistent with principles given to women in other places in scripture. However these qualities are often inaccurately viewed and used to suppress women which is completely not Biblical. Accurately viewed, the principle incorporates verses like 1 Cor 11:11-12 and Ephesians 5:21. There is so much misuse of this principle! For example, I believe a woman could teach or lead while maintaining these attitudes just as I could teach or lead with an attitude of submission toward my church’s elders. I don't think it limits their gifts at all. It just provides a certain attitude that should be present when using the gifts.

Verse 12 is the specific practice: in that time and that place, the principle was best represented by not allowing women to teach and having them be silent. There could have been many reasons why this was appropriate at that time that I won’t go into here. Paul distinguishes this from a core principle by using the word ‘I’. To me this indicates that this is what he does … and it is not a universal principle. To put it in perspective for us, I think the early church much more resembled our small groups of today (where anyone could speak up) rather than our weekend services. There are very few people that would argue women shouldn’t speak at small group - which is where I'd believe you'd have to take this if you were arguing it was a universal principle.

You can find the same structure with a less controversial issue in 1 Cor 11 regarding head covering. Very clearly Paul is directing the practice that women use a head covering. He compares it to long and short hair, and many people use that comparison as an out to not apply these verses, but apply other ones like 1 Tim 2. But it is clear to me that hair is not what he’s talking about. He is just using it to emphasize his main point about head coverings. In India you can still see this practice of head coverings, and it is a beautiful symbol by the women of their godly attitude as they worship and pray. Why don’t we do that in the States? Because the core principle (a quiet and submissive attitude) is not well displayed by that specific practice (additional head covering) in our culture. Hardly anyone would argue that a woman should cover her head during small group or during the weekend gathering. That is because this was a practice for that time, and not a universal principle.

I'm not an expert, but this is what I believe and how I am able to work it all out logically in my little brain. The most beneficial thing for me is to realize that Jesus almost always spoke in principle, and not in specific practices. In fact, we see him ask wildly different practices of different people to reveal the core principles. He didn't ask everyone to give all they had to the poor - he just asked the rich young ruler. He was always going after the core - the heart. That is why I spend most of my time reading the Gospels. I think everything written in the New Testament we need to be very careful not to turn into more rules and regulations. We need to make sure we view it as it was written - advice to specific situations that demonstrate the core principles of Jesus. Personally, if I can't tie it to a core principle of Jesus, then I suspect that I'm probably reading it wrong. That's how I approach it. Don't know if it is right or wrong but it is helpful for me.

Let the comments begin ...