I don't (and can't) know everything ... but I want to.

I'm reading the book of Job this week and it's got me thinking ... no matter how much I enjoy trying to figure things out, sometimes things are just not figure-out-able. Sometimes there is no rhyme or reason to what happens in life. Sometimes a perfect strategy doesn't work, and other times an imperfect one works. The only certainty is that there is always more going on than we can possibly understand or comprehend.

This is a struggle for me!

I had a conversation with a good friend about a year ago. He was going through a very difficult separation with his spouse and I asked him what he had learned through it all that I could apply to helping other people in that situation. His words have stuck with me. His advice was to realize that 'you just don't know ... and you just can't know'. He meant that it is impossible to understand all that has gone on in someones life - in their childhood, in their marriage, in their children's lives, in the deepest part of their heart. Life is deep and difficult and complex. It doesn't always fit into a logic puzzle.

Did I mention that this is a struggle for me?!

Most of the book of Job is a conversation between Job and his friends. If you haven't read it in a while it goes something like this.

Job: Life Stinks.
Friends: Your life does stink, you should think about trying (fill in the blank).
Job: You don't get it. If I was in your place, I might be saying the same thing as you, but you truly don't understand.
Friends: Grrrrrr.
Job: Life Stinks.
(Repeat)

Job's friends don't say anything illogical or technically wrong, yet they are completely wrong!

So my lesson learned is this: I need to approach people knowing with 100% certainty that I don't know everything, and that I can't know everything. Even more than that, I need to approach them knowing that they know more than I do. This is rough for someone who lives his life in the techy world where everything has a right answer, 2+2 always equals 4, and someone always knows more than someone else.

Wow ... that's a lot for me to work on!

Why is getting out of the way so hard?

REVISION: After rereading this post, I think it came across as a bit harsh. It is not suppose to be some super criticism of our pastors. They deserve better than that. It is as much as anything a criticism of me. I consider myself to be in the church leader category even though I am unpaid. I normally think of being more effective as increasing my influence rather than equipping others. It's a problem for me. I think it's also possible, that the church does better than business at this, but I just notice it more in the church. Just wanted to clarify that.

Everything I am reading lately seems to come back to the point that a leader needs to equip people and then get out of the way. Yet, in my experience, few leaders or organizations actually do this - particularly in church world. When was the last time you heard of a pastor equipping another member of the church to be a pastor, and then getting out of the way. When was the last time you heard of a church equipping another church and then getting out of the way. I know it happens, but my experience says it is very rare. Why? Why do we insist on staying in control?

I think it comes down to a few things:

• Our dreams aren't big enough
• We selfishly want the credit
• We pridefully think we are more important than we are
• We never stop to think about the power of multiplication

Here are two examples to think about:

Person 1 - Jesus

• Dreams of spreading the Kingdom of God to all people
• Constantly attributes everything he does to the Father, and is willing to live without a home, suffer, and voluntarily lay down his power
• Although in reality it really is all dependent on him, he only concentrates on a few, and then voluntarily gets out of the way after only a few short years of ministry.
• He constantly told stories about multiplication (parable of the harvest, parable of the mustard seed, parable of the yeast, etc.)

Person 2 - Many church leaders

• Dreams of increasing their influence often by gathering a really big group together weekly to listen to him/her. (This isn't done out of bad intentions, but out of an intention to help people's lives in the process)
• Attributes a lot of success to his/her own good ideas and strategy. Talks about suffering a lot, but too often is talking about stuff that happens to them rather than voluntary sacrifice.
• Really wants to stay in control. Wants to make sure people continue to listen to him so that he can convince them to believe all the little things that he/she believes. Sometimes he truly believes this is the way to help someone.
• Sees resources as a limitation because he doesn't understand multiplication. For example, he uses almost all (or more than) the church's resources to build a bigger building, not realizing that they've just built a bigger ceiling on growth. (I'm not saying all buildings are bad, just that if we are serious about church happening 'outside the building' then the building should not be the constraint.)

An interesting comparison, huh? Unfortunately I too often look like the 2nd person. Lord, help me be a leader that equips people to surpass me. Give me big dreams, and help me understand that growth centered on me, will never be big enough to accomplish those dreams. Help me to know that as long as I am the center of the plan, I am also the limitation. Amen.

Old Journal Entry - Living in forgiveness

I've been thinking a lot lately about what it means to live life as a forgiven person. This reality should influence our approach to everything. I came across an old journal of mine that I wrote while in China. It is a prayer I wrote while meditating on Psalm 51. It meant something to me today when I found it so maybe it will mean something to you too.

Dated 1/21/05
Psalm 51
"The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit. A broken and contrite spirit You will not despise."
"You desire truth in the inner parts; You teach me wisdom in the inmost place."
"Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me."

My sins are great, God. Selfishness invades me. I can do little without expecting something in return. My thoughts often wander to power and lust. Yet at least I know enough, or am at least scared enough not to act these out. You desire more! You desire to transform my inmost place, my soul.

I long to live fully from the heart. Help me to see clearly the lies of the evil one. You are the reason I can be transformed. You forgive; You save. You desire faith - faith that believes You, faith that can transform me, faith that results in brokenness at my inability to follow you fully. Restore me.

Give me a free life - a life that is free to trust my heart because my heart is Your heart. Then you will be glorified in me! A sacrifice was used to restore man's relationship with you. In order to restore our relationship, you don't require more outward actions, but an inner contrite heart.

It is true that you require obedience, movement, and passion, but these can not be faked. They must come from the core, from a pure heart. Father, I have lost my brokenness here, forgive me. In my obedience I have become hard-hearted and prideful. The things I do for you are either because I can't live without them (like my time with You) or because I am supposed to do them (it's my job). While this is good, I want to do them because of who I am ... who I have become in You.

I can think of no better thing than a truly transformed heart living out of free passion. You will do this in me, but first I must desire it, and I must be broken over my lack of it. Through brokenness comes forgiveness and transformation. Help me to see fully who You are, Father, that I might also see who I am. This will result in brokenness, gratitude, salvation, and power. Praise You God, for what you will do in me. May you be glorified.

Favorite Quotes from the Leadership Summit

I had a great time at the Willow Creek Leadership Summit on Thursday and Friday. I now have much more to think about, to apply, and to talk endlessly to my wife about. (She loves it - although she will deny that). On top of that, our church won an award for work with HIV/AIDs in South Africa, India, and Thailand. The really cool part is that the award came with money to put into our work there!

Here are some of my favorite points:

"Success is a self-correcting phenomena." - Gary Hammel
We must stay humble during success so that we keep reaching out for new ideas, and don't let everything get stale why we look on with overconfident denial. In our connected, and fast changing world, if we depend only on our own ideas or position, we will get left behind. We must change at least as fast as the world around us.

"It's easy to confuse motion and progress." - David Gergen
We need to become reflective practitioners - constantly evaluating and learning what is effective.

"There are two ways to be your own savior: immorality and morality ... we must not only confess our wrong-doing, but also the wrong reasons for our right-doing" - Tim Keller
If we want the Father's stuff rather than the Father, we will be spiritually dead. This applies both to trying to grab the Father's stuff on our own (immorality) or trying to do everything right to earn the Father's stuff (morality).

"Start speaking to hearts instead of pounding on wills" -Tim Keller

"Your job is to equip members, not just add staff." - Harvey Carey (speaking to the church)
YES!! IMHO, most churches spend far too little time on equipping members to do the work.