I don't (and can't) know everything ... but I want to.

I'm reading the book of Job this week and it's got me thinking ... no matter how much I enjoy trying to figure things out, sometimes things are just not figure-out-able. Sometimes there is no rhyme or reason to what happens in life. Sometimes a perfect strategy doesn't work, and other times an imperfect one works. The only certainty is that there is always more going on than we can possibly understand or comprehend.

This is a struggle for me!

I had a conversation with a good friend about a year ago. He was going through a very difficult separation with his spouse and I asked him what he had learned through it all that I could apply to helping other people in that situation. His words have stuck with me. His advice was to realize that 'you just don't know ... and you just can't know'. He meant that it is impossible to understand all that has gone on in someones life - in their childhood, in their marriage, in their children's lives, in the deepest part of their heart. Life is deep and difficult and complex. It doesn't always fit into a logic puzzle.

Did I mention that this is a struggle for me?!

Most of the book of Job is a conversation between Job and his friends. If you haven't read it in a while it goes something like this.

Job: Life Stinks.
Friends: Your life does stink, you should think about trying (fill in the blank).
Job: You don't get it. If I was in your place, I might be saying the same thing as you, but you truly don't understand.
Friends: Grrrrrr.
Job: Life Stinks.
(Repeat)

Job's friends don't say anything illogical or technically wrong, yet they are completely wrong!

So my lesson learned is this: I need to approach people knowing with 100% certainty that I don't know everything, and that I can't know everything. Even more than that, I need to approach them knowing that they know more than I do. This is rough for someone who lives his life in the techy world where everything has a right answer, 2+2 always equals 4, and someone always knows more than someone else.

Wow ... that's a lot for me to work on!