You've lived in China too long when ...

I found some of these on Facebook and thought I'd share. If you haven't lived in China, they might be slightly entertaining. If you have, they are hilarious!

To my Chinese friends who sometimes read this blog: I love you all!!

You've lived in China too long when ...

• You walk backwards in the park listening to a transistor radio
• You smoke in crowded elevators
• All white people look the same to you
• You no longer need tissues to blow your nose
• You find western toilets uncomfortable
• You think a 30 year old woman who carries a Hello Kitty lunch box is cute
• It's OK to throw rubbish, including old fridges, from your 18th-floor window
• You aren't aware that one is supposed to pay for software
• You are not surprised to see your tap water run dark brown
• You think that a $7 shirt is a rip-off
• You have no reservations about spitting sun flower seeds on the restaurant floor
• You think it's silly to buy a new bike when it'll get stolen soon and stolen bikes are half the price.
• You feel cheated if you don't receive a full head and shoulder massage when getting a haircut
• You no longer wait in line, but go immediately to the head of the queue
• It becomes exciting to see if you can get on the elevator before anyone can get off
• You no longer wonder how someone who earns US$ 400.00 per month can drive a Mercedes
• You regard it as part of the adventure when the waiter correctly repeats your order and the cook makes something completely different.
• You are not surprised when three men with a ladder show up to change a light bulb
• You honk your horn at people because they are in your way as you drive down the sidewalk
• You have a pinky fingernail an inch long
• You think Pizza Hut is high-class and worth queueing for
• When you are able to jump the line because the idiot laowai left 1 extra inch between themself and the person in front of them
• You start calling other foreigners Lao Wai
• You start cutting off large vehicles on your bicycle
• You think no car is complete without a tissue box on the rear shelf and a feather duster in the trunk
• You go to the local shop in pajamas
• You think "white pills, blue pills, and pink powder" is an adequate answer to the question "What are you giving me, doctor?"
• Someone doesn't stare at you and you wonder why
• You wear out your vehicle's horn before its brakes
• You buy a top-of-the-line karaoke machine
• Forks feel funny
• All the top-level government officials you befriended for guanxi purposes when you first arrived are retired and living in your country
• You think of "salad" as diced apples in mayonnaise
• You only wear a suit when you dig ditches or do home repairs
• You and a friend get on a bus, sit at opposite ends of the bus, and continue your conversation by yelling from one end to the other
• You cannot say a number without making the appropriate hand sign
• You start recognising the chinese songs on the radio and sing along to them with the taxi driver
• You feel insulted when you enter a restaurant and only three waiters say welcome
• You have dreams about eating real cheese.
• You can pick up more rice with chopsticks than with a spoon.
• You believe no trip to the hospital is complete without an intravenous drip.
• You have a cat called Cat Cat
• You stop using past tense altogether.
• You finish a chicken and it looks like a vulture picked the bones clean.
• You go to KFC for a romantic dinner...
• Someone on the street says laowai and you say zai nali?
• You don't think its wierd that you can see every child's bum.
• You believe small childrens arms are perpendicular to their body.
• You think Celine Dion and Backstreet boys are NOW, and look for their songs in KTV.
• You no longer get offended when someone asks "is everyone in your country fat?" because you know it to be true.